On Friday my Husband texted me to say he was bringing a roadkill Hawk home to journey with and to take to somewhere more respectful and maybe to take some feathers if the bird permitted it. We dreamt with a feather from the bird for a couple of nights but I did not feel like this really worked. My dreams were not as I expected and were more confrontational about things I should be doing. The dream I remember most clearly dealt with the clutter in my house and what I should do about it!
So today we had decided to journey with the bird and then perhaps take it to Carn Brea, a local hill. He started to pull it out of the bag and asked me what I thought of the wings. I started to be a little concerned as I the wings didn’t look very Hawk-like at all! When he had the bird all the way out, it was quite clear that in the dark, he had in fact picked up a Herring Gull!
Some time ago, I was on a bit of a quest driving to Carn Brea and as I went there, three birds passed over head, making a perfect triangle between them, flying at the same speeds and in the right directions to maintain it. The three birds were a Magpie, a Crow and A Gull. I struggled a bit with the Gull. They are viewed somewhat as vermin here, we are too close to the sea and there are a lot of them around and they can be aggressive over their nests and food.
This wind right now is Initiator and I have struggled with Initiator too and it is the one wind I have wished I could swap off my Wheel. I have begun to realise that Herring Gull might be my totem for the Initiator this Wind and here I was, with one sat there, waiting for me to journey with it.
My husbands plan to bring a bird home had made me feel bad because I had not been courageous to do this for other totems of mine when I had seen them as roadkill. One Magpie was dead on the road I took to work and I passed it for several days, and I wanted to stop and take it somewhere more respectful, but I didn’t. Then one time I was thinking about dreaming with a Corvid skull and a few weeks later, a corvid head appeared on my doorstep, literally, and I failed to do anything with it…
And here was another of my totems and to get me to work with it, someone else had to bring it home to me.
So we journeyed and I flew with the bird a little and dove after fish and sat on a poo covered rock with many other birds. I also got the sense that it wanted to return to the sea, that Carn Brea was wrong and a local place called Hell’s Mouth came to mind. Hell’s Mouth is an opening in a local section of cliff. You can stand at the top and the waves batter at the bottom of the cliff right below. It is a special place really but one where people often go to be cleansed of their difficulties in life, often finally. Tourists driving the cost road also stop to gawp, because it is very beautiful and dramatic.
We got there and no one was around. From the car I could see a mass of Gulls circling in the vortex above the mouth and knew we had it right. They seemed to disappear as we got out of the car but when we reached the edge, the mouth was full of Gulls and we could see them out on the sea too. We had a quiet moment and then sent the Gull on it’s way home. It all felt right and good.
We did have a moment or two over it though… *laugh* As we reached the mouth we could see other cars pulling into the car park and by the time we were thinking of going there were people everywhere. I was very conscious of our empty plastic bag!